On the main forum page click on 'List all users' look for Dionysus and then check to see where I connected from in the world.
Germany!
What the, it's ,,,,, no, no, I'm not having that, German..... German, I'm not German. Why you, you..... damn Canadian faulty message board implying I'm not British.. Where's my chrome handled walking cane. What these message board programmers need is a damn good thrashing.
Sooooo, it is true! That fish & chips bit was all an act, wasn't it? Its been kraut & wieners with you all along, hasn't it? And all it took was some of fluffy's North Pole baby seal whacking mb technology to flush you out too, you Bavarian beguiler! So, what's next? Are we to continue addressing you as Field Marshal, or should we switch that to...KAISER! This is an outrage! A certifiable disgrace! Why...I'd sooner follow a Frenchma.......no, wait...that would be worse! Well gentlemen, it appears we're at a crossroads here. We can either continue to goose step behind this Prussian pretender or........WE CAN MUTINY!
Oh, and one more thing. While we're setting up our makeshift court-martial, we might want to consider giving someone else the chop. Namely 'Fessor's Scottish butler/Highland henchman.....Mr. Bigglesworth aka Geordie George! I mean seriously folks, does anyone here know for sure if Bigglesworth really is a Scotty? Oh yeah, sure...he rolls his R's & wears a kilt and all but still...has anyone ever took a peek under there? Granted there isn't enough gold in Fort Knox to get me to do it but...I'll bet that beneath that Gaelic girdle is a pair of those jerry suspendered shorties! I say we make Bigglesworth walk the plank!
You know, the longer I think about it, the more another name comes to mind......Ruffy! That's right! Ruffy! They're always together, those two! Birds of a feather flock together, don't they? I'll bet that Carolina carpet bagging tarheel gig is just another ruse! I say that beneath those tie-dyes & flip-flops lies the sinister carcass of another Austrian assassin! Not to mention I saw Ruffy sipping a Heinekien in the canteen the other day! Everyone knows that no 'Merican north of a trailer park would stand within ten feet of an opened Heinekien. Ah ha! More evidence! Man, this place is just crawling with Krauts! Damn, the next thing you know fluffy'll come strolling by sporting a new 'stache.......wait....it can't be. Fluffy's a jerry? No, wait, I forgot...Fluffy is Canadian...they're all Frinch. Well that's good then. We'll need someone to check Bigglesworth's nickers. Alright gents, we've got work to do. Let's get to it!
Don't feel bad Fuhrer...er...I mean COMMANDER. Come on Dio, you mean you don't have just a little German in you?
Hagar, I'll have you know I'm Scotch-Irish (although I do love German potato salad). Are you a Dean man Vike-otin? Being a Bush supporter get to be too lonely?
[Come on Dio, you mean you don't have just a little German in you?]...Ruffy
I'd say after 1066 they all had a little bit of jerry in them. Whether they wanted it or not.
[Hagar, I'll have you know I'm Scotch-Irish (although I do love German potato salad).]...Ruffy
I don't see how anyone can eat potato salad! Besides I thought that tofu & cappacinos were the staple diet of the modern secular liberal.
[Are you a Dean man Vike-otin?]...Ruffy
You could say that in a way I'm one of your fellow Deancompoops. I was pulling for Dean-o big time in the commie primary and the DNC chair race. As long as secular liberals have their biggest space cadet running the asylum things couldn't be better for those of us in the pig pen.
[Being a Bush supporter get to be too lonely?]...Ruffy
Sorta bad timing there Ruffy. Don't look now but Dubb is climbing in the liberal polls. Plus I'm a warpig which doesn't always make me a Dubb supporter. Yes I did vote for Dubb in the last election but then again I would've seriously considered voting for a three toed sloth before voting for Lurch.
I don't even have time to read these messages right now... I'm just glad there ARE messages. Where has everyone been lately? Guess we've all been really busy. I don't even have time to assume some sort of character and be outraged!
Don't be strangers. I know you can't help but be stranger, but that is different.
[Bush is climbing in the liberal polls? What polls...]...Ruffy
Yeah, ain't that a bitch! Which polls? Pick one! The poll liberals were most harping on was the "all important" job performance poll. Early last week Dubb was at 36%, his all time low(so far). CNN & the liberal Networks were really having a woody over that one. CNN was showing that so often they barely had time for commercials. By Thursday or Friday though Dubb was back over 40% at 42%. Now granted 42% is still pretty s-h-i-t-t-y so you'd think CNN & the liberal Networks would still be giving this poll 24/7 coverage, right? Wrong! Oh, they'd like too but they can't. The reason being their hero, Bubba Clinton, spent some of his stint in the 38%-40% range. So I guess they'll just keep bashing away on sumpin else and hope for the worst.
[... on what planet??]...Ruffy
Ummm, I think it's the third one. You know, the one with all the water.
[The three toed sloth DID run against Kerry in 2004.]...Ruffy
Dubb has three toes? Well, I've never been much on foot fetishes so I'll take your word on it.
[Unfortunately, he won.]...Ruffy
Ruffy! Shuuuush!! You're not supposed to say that. Dubb didn't "win" that election. HE STOLE IT! Didn't you get the memo? You know...fraudulent voting machines, minority voter intimidation and all that jazz. Might I suggest you lay off the potato salad a bit and catch up on the talking points.
[DIO/ROUGH 2008]...Ruffy
Is it on again? What about the free guns & ammo bit? Is that still on!?!? If so...count me in!
Well, I don't consider CNN a "liberal poll". I thought you meant his numbers were up with people like Norman Mailer and Michael Moore. When folks in his own party are avoiding Bushie like the red headed stepchild (or three toed sloth) it's pretty undeniable. The Repubs are trying to distance themselves from Dubya like the life boats pulling away from the Titanic (lest they lose their cushy elected positions in 2006). But, as you say, 36%....42%...still pretty bad. Poor George, not feeling any love. Well, unpopular wars and gross incompetence will do that to ya!
Yes, I say DIO/ROUGH is on in 2008! And we may have a place for you in the "agenda". I have a bitchin' urban renewal plan for Iraq and I think you're just the joe for the job! We drop you in there with all the guns, ammo and snacks you can carry (I hope you like Battenberg Cake).
(Note to self: Purchase a nice, used parachute for Hagar...also a map of downtown Baghdad.)
[Well, I don't consider CNN a "liberal poll".]...Ruffy
Heh heh heh...of course you don't.
[When folks in his own party are avoiding Bushie like the red headed stepchild (or three toed sloth) it's pretty undeniable. The Repubs are trying to distance themselves from Dubya like the life boats pulling away from the Titanic (lest they lose their cushy elected positions in 2006).]...Ruffy
Ehhh...that's not quite it Ruffy. On our illegal war/hegemony thingy, the pigs are in the pen. On evil tax cuts for the rich, the pigs are in the pen. On most major policy issues, the pigs are in the pen. Where Dubb runs into pig problems are entitlement spending and border security.
[Yes, I say DIO/ROUGH is on in 2008! And we may have a place for you in the "agenda".]...Ruffy
You do? Really?? Hot Damn!!! I knew I could count on you Ruffy! What a pal, what a pal!!
[Obviously, this application for membership needs to be stringently checked by me first and several tests have to be passed in an underground location before joining the DIHQ team. One good thing about Viking is that his presence does act as a definite deterent to the lapsed Chinonian operative Wazzard who fears the Viking so much he never appears whilst the Viking is present on a forum, instead deciding to cower in the dark damp shadows of the toppled statue of Dr Chin, the deposed leader of Monochomia.
Dio,]
[Note to self: Purchase a nice, used parachute for Hagar...]...Ruffy
USED??? Oh no, I don't like the sound of that! Ruffy, an old faded second-hand parachute would clash too sharply with my new kevlar and freshly pressed BDUs. Hell, I'd get arrested by the fashion police before I even got out of my harness! No, no, that just won't do. In fact, let's forget about parachutes altogether. Instead I was thinking more along the lines of one of those neat little helicopter deals. You know, like the one Dubb buzzes around in. Oh yeah, and I don't want one of those damn jar heads standing around opening the door for me when landing either! I'd rather have.....a stewardess! Yeah, a stewardess!! Hey, do you know if Jill Monroe is still around? She'd be perfect! She'd look hot just standing there plus she could kick the asses of any nitwit commie protesters trying to egg me.
[...also a map of downtown Baghdad.]...Ruffy
Maps? Ruffy, this is the twenty-first century! Warpigs don't use maps, we use GPS. I mean, just how do you think we get those big ole bombs down those tiny little air shafts?
[We drop you in there with all the guns, ammo and snacks you can carry (I hope you like Battenberg Cake).]...Ruffy
Ahhhh...guns and ammo. NOW YOU'RE TALKIN'! And snacks too? Well...yes, I could get a little hungry after a long flight and I'd.......wait, doesn't Battenberg have coconut in it? Ruffy, if there's one thing warpigs hate more than potato salad, it's coconut! Man, this job isn't sounding too cushy. First you try and strap me with used equipment and now coconut MREs are the only thing on the menu? Gulp!
[I have a bitchin' urban renewal plan for Iraq and I think you're just the joe for the job!]...Ruffy
Urban renewal? What the fff... You mean like ride around with a pair of gold scissors and open gas stations & kiddy parks all day? Ruffy, you don't need a warpig for that. S-h-i-t, stick that one on fluffy. I was thinking about something more Pentagon-ish...like Rummy's job!
[DIO/ROUGH 2008 (Vike's the one waving the pistol)]...Ruffy
A pistol? What is this?? A clip joint??? You mean to tell me with all that money just laying around Washington and you still can't scratch up enough to at least get me an AR? That does it! I'm having none of this! First it's used junk! Then coconut chow! And now it's pop guns! OOOOH...you've gone too far you, you, you...cheapskate! I'll fix you! Just wait 'till that jerry rumor starts floating around! Or, or...wait, I know...I'll get me a running mate and throw my hat in. Yeah, that aughtta learn ya! I can see it now!:
ATF/Viking 2008: Make war...then love!
or...
ATF/Viking 2008: A chicken in every pot and a gun rack in every gas guzzling SUV!
You'd better keep on your flip-flopped toes tarheel! You and that other chrome-handled jerry have got some serious competition this time! {mumbles to self} Now, where can I get some of those butterfly ballots?
Did I hear Scottish babe Jill Monroe's name? Maybe Vike-otin and I have more in common than I thought! (Oh, perish the thought!)
I see my esteemed running mate is doing his own Black-Ops on you! Could this all be an elaborate ruse? Might you, in fact, be connected to Dr. Chin's Evil Monochrome Empire (Booo Hiss). What a gem of a stratagem if you Viking are indeed directly involved with a sort of bastardized reconstituted Chin Empire, rising from the ashes of its own demise!! Come to smite us all...you SMITER!
But hell, you could be anybody! You say you want to run of Fonz's ticket in '08. I would say that you would have to find him first. Fonz is MIA although he has been spotted from time to time over at Bar Hoffa's. But, YOU could be Fonz...or Killer....or Wizzard...or Dio....or Jill Monroe...OR, most shocking of all...
YOU could be ME (maybe I just like talking to myself)!
Well, go ahead and run mister! WHOEVER YOU ARE! And may the best bloke win! Don't forget we have catfighting babydoll Vira in our corner and a perverted dwarf named Zip.
DIO/ROUGH 2008 (George Bush doesn't care about dwarves)
[Obviously, this application for membership needs to be stringently checked by me first and several tests have to be passed in an underground location before joining the DIHQ team.]...'Fessor
Uhhh...yeah...well, we all know how fast paper shuffles across your desk! I'd prolly have better luck changing my name to Hector and applying for a level IV job at INS. I distinctly remember Bigglesworth mumbling something to me about a promotion. Then, SIX MONTHS LATER, I'm informed by some realty chick that I've got ten minutes to get my gear and my rear out of HQ or she's calling the Yard. Might I suggest that you spend a little more time on your executive duties through the week and leave toying with desktop tin solders for weekends?
[One good thing about Viking is that his presence does act as a definite deterent to the lapsed Chinonian operative Wazzard who fears the Viking so much he never appears whilst the Viking is present on a forum,]...'Fessor
My secret? Garlic! You know how garlic deters vampires, right? Well it's doubly effective on these occult types. That...plus the fact that I super glued Wizzy's ouija board together on last year's Regimental field trip. Other than a few card tricks he's powerless without it.
[Did I hear Scottish babe Jill Monroe’s name? Maybe Vike-otin and I have more in common that I thought! (Oh, Perish the thought!)]...Ruffy
Hmmm, let’s see...potato salad, coconut and Jill Monroe. Well, one out of three ain't bad.
[I see my esteemed running mate is doing his own Black-Ops on you! Could this all be an elaborate ruse? Might you, in fact, be connected to Dr. Chin’s Evil Monochrome Empire (Booo Hiss). What a gem of a stratagem if you Viking are indeed directly involved with a sort of bastardized reconstituted Chin Empire, rising from the ashes of its own demise!! Come to smite us all…you SMITER!]...Ruffy
Oh damn, its gotten out. Now wait a minute Ruffy! Uh, I can explain. Yes I did work briefly for Dr. Chin but that was several years before 'Fessor formed the Regiment...uh, or at least I'm pretty sure. It was during the Bubba regime when most warpigs were hard pressed for work. For some reason Bubba, Maddie and Wild Bill Cohen preferred using Tomahawk missiles to take out tents and baby milk factories instead of grunts. To each his own I guess but for me it was either sit with the rabble down at the unemployment office or do a couple of jobs for Chin. Big deal. And it's not like I was out to bring down Western Civilization either. All I did was plant two bombs. One was at a Crayola manufacturing facility in Seattle Washington and, if memory serves me correctly, the other was up in Canada. T'was some kind of server for a third-rate celebrity boxing type site...or at least that's how Chin put it. Both were a botch. I forgot to use weather proof fusing on the Seattle bomb so it was a dud. The Canadian bomb went off prematurely when some silly anarchist accidentally set it off with a remote garage door opener. Luckily for me I was lost and several yards away asking his neighbor for directions when the dad-blamed thing touched. I didn't get a scratch but I can't say as much about this Cannuck's moped or a couple dozen pasteboard signs. Anyway like I said both jobs were a botch so Chin gave me the sack and we haven't spoken since...well except for the time I ordered Chinese takeout but that's a whole other matter involving moo shoo pork.
[You say you want to run of Fonz’s ticket in ’08. I would say that you would have to find him first. Fonz is MIA although he has been spotted from time to time over at Bar Hoffa’s.]...Ruffy
Damn it! That explains why the Smith & Wesson holiday gift cards I sent him were returned to sender. Well, he'll be back! You'll see!!
[Well, go ahead and run mister! WHOEVER YOU ARE! And may the best bloke win! Don’t forget we have catfighting babydoll Vira in our corner and a perverted dwarf named Zip.]...Ruffy
OH YEAH!?! Well, we have...uh...umm...well...we have Hamboni? No...wait, Fonz isn't too wild about him. Oh, I know...WE'LL GET WIZZY! Yeah, Wizzy! Just you wait! I'll get Wizzy another ouija board and he'll turn 'Fessor's mustache wax into itching powder and his bowler into a pickelhaube. With 'Fessor standing on the campaign stump twitching his nose beneath a pointy jerry helmet that kraut label is bound to stick! Ha! Take that you Ruffian!
[DIO/ROUGH 2008
(George Bush doesn’t careabout dwarves)]...Ruffy
Oh yeah!?!? Well how 'bout this:
ATF/Viking Your Kraut Free Candidacy!
[HAVE AT YOU, SIR!]...Ruffy
ENGARDE! Err...that's Frinch. Uh, what I meant to say was...IT'S ON!
Are we ready to rumble in 2008? Are we ready to take back the empire in the name of full color catfighting glory?
I'm ready to get things started by issuing a direct challenge to Hillary Clinton herself....best 2 out of 3 falls against our gal Vira (and we'll even let Bill watch). Winner take all! Once Hillary's out of the picture the other's will be easy pickings!
Dio/Rough will be unstoppable this time! Bushie and his rabble of incompetent retards are on the wane and we can FINALLY have a real shot at the Dionysian paradise promised us so many moons ago!! Yes, it will be a reality as sure as my name is Rough!
The Dionysian ideal will be realized no matter how down and dirty we will have to fight to achieve it. Why have I laid low for so long now? I've been working in the darkest, dankest bowels to secure us an ally so powerfully cunning that there will be NO STOPPING US THIS TIME!
Ladies and gentleman, children of all ages, we have in our corner none other than one SADDAM HUSSEIN, a man who knows how to get things done! Yes, yes I know what you're thinking..wasn't that Mr. Hussein dancing on the end of a rope about a month ago over there in Iraq? YOU FOOLS! What was the one thing Saddam had more of than palaces? That's right, DOUBLES! That was Double #7 you saw hang a few weeks back (he was a fine man, used to do time shares in Fallujah). Let's see, Double #4 was the one that was pulled out of the spider hole a while back and I think it was Double #6 you saw on trial....(or was it Double #9). Oh well, no matter because we have the real Saddam in our camp and he's just jonsing for a good fight!
LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
DIO/ROUGH 2008 (The REAL weapons of mass destruction!)
Oh Lordy!!! You guys are still on this post some 2 years later!?!? Good to see ya Viking and Roughy :) I hate to break it to some sad asses (no not you roughy) that the real Saddam is dead. For some reason people didn't want the guy to die. Hey, if thats how the Iraqi's do it and don't feed ya 4 square meals a day, give ya a pc, let you live another 10-15 years on death row while tax payers shell out $$$ to keep your sad ass existing then all the power to them. Was at a bar watching a buddies band play. Right between sets it came on the news he got the nuse. So the sound guy yells "Saddam is dead!" Half the place cheered and half the place just stood around like they were disgusted. F-in terror cells they musta been. So like the cool drunk I am I grabbed the mic and said "Yeah, but it is really him?" ( i knew the sound guy or I wouldn't have done it) Got a bigger response than the innitial telling of Saddam's hanging. Roughy two good ... no I mean great minds think alike. Oh yeah, you don't like Bush. Scratch that then. I'm still in the man's corner. No worries he'll be gone shortly and you dems can grab the power again. Then we will really see Iraq get forked up!!! I'm always sticking to the "its better we do something over there than not" policy. Sure, there were pleanty of mistakes (like a crap load) but I think no matter who was in office at the time after 9/11 you would have gotten the same situation. Everyone at the time backed the war & many continue to do so. The difference is always "well I would have done it like this blah blah blah ..." Infact, they all said they would have tossed in more troops to start. Now Bush is doing it & I think it'll do something. Would it have really mattered if we did prior to or after the storming of Baghdad? Who flippin knows. I'd like our boys and girls home too when it comes down to it.
Are you HIGH again, sir? You can join the campaign if you like and pass out balloons with our perverted dwarf, Zip..(just don't suck up all the helium).
DIO/ROUGH 2008 (You're either for us or with Viking!)
WE CAN MUTINY! 
]...Ruffy
]...Ruffy
