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Dio's Femfight Community Message Board -> General Discussion of Female Fighting -> Dio's guide to the British General Election 5/5/05
Post Info TOPIC: Dio's guide to the British General Election 5/5/05
Dionysus


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Dio's guide to the British General Election 5/5/05
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Ok it's very simple really for our American readers to understand.


It's a one horse race, and Tony Blair's 'New Labour' will quite obviously win. This is due to the reason that there is not much difference between the conservatives and new labour and because the Conservatives seem incapable of presenting themselves as anything but out of touch Nazi fu ckpigs, we are left with the eternally disingenuous New Labour who know how to market their lies better than the Tories.


New Labour - Free Market apologists lead by Tony Blair. The natural successors to Margaret Thatcher. Very similar to the American Republican party but more intelligent in the manner in which they screw everyone but keep a smile on their face as if it's all being done for the good of the nation['s businessmen]


Conservatives - Free Market apologists lead by a vampire called Michael Howard. Lacking the user friendly disengenuity of New labour and suffers from a poor public profile. Very similar to the American Republican party. Over tendency of playing on the general public's fears and prejudices to gain votes.


Liberal Democrats - Free Market apologists who never win the election lead by Charles Kennedy. I think the last time they won it was in 1908-1915. Not sure of the equivalent in America?


Unlike America, the leaders of the party put themselves in front of Jeremy Paxman who entertainingly humiliates them all for public entertainment via a line of embarrassing questions that make em squirm. The very idea of putting George Bush in front of someone like Paxman would be unheard of in America.


PAXMAN: Just while we're on foreign affairs, there's a new Pope appointed. Do you agree that

BLAIR: Now that's one election I can't comment on I'm afraid.

PAXMAN: Do you agree that condoms prevent the spread of aids.

BLAIR: Yes I do.

PAXMAN: Would you be prepared to tell the Pope that.

BLAIR: Jeremy, I mean, you know, (laughs) I've, I don't know. If I ever have this conversation with him, I'm sure we will talk about how we can do lots of things to help the world, but I, I don't want to, I've got enough issues in my own election, without getting in to his.


AND


PAXMAN: Can you tell us how many failed asylum seekers there are in this country.

BLAIR: No, I can't be sure of the numbers of, of people who are ur, illegals in this country. For the same reason that the previous government couldn't. Urm, what I can say is that the asylum system has been toughened up and tightened up hugely, and according to the United Nations Commission for Refugees, and not us, asylum figures have fallen by more than a half in the past two or three years.

PAXMAN: Can you give us a rough idea of how many there may be.

BLAIR: I, no point in speculating on that. What I do know is that

PAXMAN: Is it tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands. Millions.

BLAIR: I've said, I don't think there's any point in speculating I

PAXMAN: But you have no idea.

BLAIR: Well it's not a question of having no idea.

PAXMAN: Well what is your idea Prime Minister.

BLAIR: What, what you. Hang on, what you can say is, how people are applying for asylum, month by month. How many people are you removing

PAXMAN: Prime Minister

BLAIR: And what is the back log, and we are dealing with all of those issues.

PAXMAN: Prime Minister, you have really no idea of how many failed asylum seekers there are illegally in this country.

BLAIR: I can't

PAXMAN: You don't know.

BLAIR: Because people are here illegally

PAXMAN: You don't know.

BLAIR: It is difficult, for the very reason that

PAXMAN: You don't know.

BLAIR: Hang on, for the very reason that the previous government gave, you cannot determine specifically, how many people are here illegally.

PAXMAN: You have no idea.

BLAIR: What you can say is, here are the number of people that are actually currently applying for asylum

PAXMAN: Yes.

BLAIR: This is the backlog of claims that you're dealing with. And these are the people who are being removed from the country.

PAXMAN: Do you. Do people not come to you and say, we think Prime Minister there may be a hundred thousand or two hundred thousand or fifty thousand, or five hundred thousand.

BLAIR: We it, they, they don't come and say that, what they ¿

PAXMAN: So you have no idea.

BLAIR: do say is. No, hang on a minute. You have an idea of the numbers that are claiming, the backlog, and the numbers that are being removed. Some of those asylum seekers when they fail, and their claim fails, they will go back voluntarily. Now, in the long term

PAXMAN: What's your working assumption.

BLAIR: if you want to deal. I don't make a working assumption about it, what I do is I concentrate on the bits that are absolutely vital to concentrate on, which is - hang on, just let me finish, which is the numbers who are coming in, the numbers we're removing and the backlog. The only long term way of dealing with this issue however, is to introduce the proper controls of borders through an electronic visa regime, and the other thing is identity cards.

PAXMAN: Does the fact that you're unable or unwilling to tell us, indicate that you have in fact lost control of our borders.

BLAIR: No, it doesn't indicate that cos no government has ever been able to say that. What you are able to say however, is here are the measures that we're taking to control it properly, to deal with the abuses, and you are also able to say, which I can say to you very clearly, cos we keep the proper statistics of this, is the numbers that are claiming now and the numbers that we're removing, and the way to get asylum figures down, so that it's only genuine refugees you're taking is, is to do precisely what we've done. Clean up the system, remove the, the tiers of appeal, make sure that people can't destroy their documentation when they come here and improve the removal system. We're doing all of those things.

PAXMAN: And just one final time. You have no figure that you can give us for the number of refused asylum seekers who are in this country.

BLAIR: I'm giving you the information that I've got, and I've answered that question a number

BOTH TOGETHER

PAXMAN: A figure, you can't give us any kind of figure.

BLAIR: (fluffs) The, the reason is because some people will return after their asylum claim has failed.

PAXMAN: Right.

BLAIR: So, what you can say

PAXMAN: So you have no idea.

BLAIR: Well it's, what you have is an idea of the numbers that are coming in and claiming, and the numbers that you're removing. Now, those are the two important things to concentrate on.

PAXMAN: Well, what is that number.

BLAIR: The numbers that are coming in now, it's fallen to just over about two thousand a month who are claiming asylum, and that's down from at it's height it was round about eight thousand month. And actually, that is lower than the figure in, in March 1997.

PAXMAN: But it gives us no indication of the, of, of the backlog of course. Can we look at

BLAIR: Well, no sorry, it does give me an indication

PAXMAN: No it doesn't.


If you have broadband/cable, these three interviews will give you a good idea:


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/newsnight_election_2005/4421655.stm


Cheers


Dio


Top tip - Don't vote... it does not make any difference.



-- Edited by Dionysus at 03:53, 2005-04-28

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BigChris


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That was a great interview -


Paxman starting off with 'Well Prime Minister.......Is there anything you want to apologise for?'



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Dionysus


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Here's a funny bit from the Michael Howard interview too:


PAXMAN: This would also involve you would it not in withdrawing from the 1951 UN Convention on Refugees.

HOWARD: Yes.

PAXMAN: Are you aware of any other civilised country that has withdrawn.

HOWARD: No.

PAXMAN: Are you aware of any other political party in Europe, even for example the extreme right wing national front party in France, advocating such a withdrawal.

HOWARD: I, I've no idea what their

PAXMAN: No, are you aware of the other countries which are not signatories to that, that convention

BOTH TOGETHER

HOWARD: Mr Blair is on

PAXMAN: Are you aware of what they are.

HOWARD: Mr Blair is on record as saying that the 1951 Convention is out of date and that it doesn't respond to the circumstances which we face today. I agree with him about that. The difference between us is that he only talks about it, I'm prepared to take action to deal with it.

PAXMAN: You presumably have a list of paper on which you've got the names of the other countries which are not signatories to that convention. You know that they include for example, Saudi Arabia, Libya, North Korea. You want to be in the company of those places do you.



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Threadjack the DVD ripper


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RE: Dio's guide to the British General Election 5/
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Thats all very nice, but who are you voting for, bounder?
Voting is one of the hardest things for us truly brilliant philosopher kings because we bloody well know they're all a bunch of lying pigfarkers no matter the party affiliation.
That's why they call it a 'party' - cause if you get elected, it's party-time, baybe.

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Dionysus


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RE: Dio's guide to the British General Election 5/5/05
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Oh, why did you go and ask that question.


I've intellectually legitimised a fully comprehensive argument for not voting for any three of these free market apologist political parties.


But for some reason I found myself wandering 10 seconds across the road to my old school which is used as the Polling Station and voting for...


Not Tony Blair (New Labour), he's a disengenous warmongering ****.


Not Michael Howard (Conservatives), he's a vile darker version of Tony Blair.


So I ended up voting for that party that never actually wins but reminds me of bananas. I'm not exactly sure what they stand for, but their leader likes drinking lots of alcohol, so I'm impressed with that.


Cheers


Dio



-- Edited by Dionysus at 23:15, 2005-05-05

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JSK


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Hmmmm tossed your vote a way Dio? Couldn't choose from the lesser of the two other evils so you went a head and picked the loser? The guy and party everyone knows will never win and really doesn't want them to anyways?


Thats kind of like being a Murkin who would have voted for someone like Howard Dean in our election. He is the guy that opened his mouth a bit to much just once and was forever shunned by the public. YEEEEEEEHAAAAW!!!!!! A fan favorate of Roughy:)~


Quick question......


Is Tony married or have any kids? A girlfriend? Whats his story?Besides war he must love something else? Why didn't you just vote for Prince Harry as a write in? I think you'll see a huge turn around in that kids life. Just think dressing like a nazi one evening and the leader of your country the next!


Think about it!


JSK


 


 



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JSK


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RE: Dio's guide to the British General Election 5/5/05
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(King Dio writes:)


So I ended up voting for that party that never actually wins but reminds me of bananas. I'm not exactly sure what they stand for, but their leader likes drinking lots of alcohol, so I'm impressed with that.


------------------------------


Don't feel bad. I voted for Ross Porot one year. He looked and pritty much sounded like Elmer Fud on Ludes.


Our respectable president use to be a total wasteoid drunk who liked to blow lines (coke)on a nightly basis. I wouldn't doubt hes even done some LSD or shrooms at one time or another ... and possibly still does.


And he's admitted to smoking the almighty green on several occasions. Sadly GW turned into a bible thumper and my vision of legalizing maryjane won't happen until around 2012.


Its a matter of keeping a ****bag like Billary Clinton out of the white house. Its bad enough she smelt the place up in the 90's.


Imagine Bill being the First Husband!?!?!


All I'm trying to say is our president has everyone beat when it comes to partying! Even beats out Boris Yelson.


JSK



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Threadjack the DVD ripper


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RE: meet the new boss....?
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Blair again?!
You BOUNDERS! Harrumpht!
Here, this will make you momentarily feel better:

pandora

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Rough


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Blair Part Duex???
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My God, and I thought we 'Murkins were the only lame ones for re electing the Shrubya!! Another term of self righteous incompetence!

Now you know how I felt over here back in November. Let me guess, Tiny Tony won by a narrow margin right? And if he follows George Dubya's lead, he will declare his victory as a mandate for change......oh, and he'll also remind us how wonderful things are going in Iraq.

DIO/ROUGH 2008

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JSK


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RE: Dio's guide to the British General Election 5/5/05
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As if things went well over in Iraq before the coalition stepped in? Its just that we see it now every day in the news. Before who gave a rats ass about that wasteland? Maybe that was the main problem and why its all the harder to fix. So much corruption and forign countries kissing Saddam's arse, stealing money and killing his own people. Yeah, how great Iraq use to be.


 


JSK



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Eldarad


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I'm heartened by the increase in support for the independents and other smaller parties.
 
The only independent MP in the last Parliament (i.e. an MP who is not a member of a political party), Richard Taylor, was re-elected in Wyre Forest
 
The 5th safest Labour seat in the UK - Bleanau Gwent - elected an independent MP (although he was previously a member of the Labour Party)
 
The Green Party polled 25% of the vote in the constituency of Brighton Pavilion
 
Although I'm not a fan of George Galloway, I saw his testimony in front of the Senate Committee, and I have to say his defence was considerably more organised and comprehensive than the accusations aganist him were. He was elected as an independent MP for Bethnell Green on May 5th.
 
Additionally, every city that has held an election for a major has elected an independent candidate.
So I think we're heading in the right direction - the less power political parties have, the better.

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Threadjack the DVD ripper


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'That's what I would call one of them there misunderestimations'

a) Mike Tyson
b) Curly Howard
c) George Bush

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