Yes, I thought it was a bloody outrage of bad manners and a lack of gentlemanly conduct when they broached the subject of my chrome handled walking cane and the unfortunate incident I was involved in at Heathrow Airport involving a metal detection machine, one bottle of Laphroaig whiskey, 4 packs of Battenberg cake, my chrome handled walking cane and a copy of Razzle I had bought for a friend. How I could have possibly been mistaken for a terrorist I do not know... although my bushy moustache had not been trimmed for several weeks I do recall. Anyway..... harrumph! I mean... how can a yellow and pink coloured cake be mistaken for semtex? Bounders!
