...{ahem}... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Taking my lead from what Harry (played by Bruce Willis) said to A.J. (played by Ben Affleck) in " Armageddon, " as A.J. and the Russian cosmonaut drove over that asteroid canyon and caught up with him:
" I HAVE JUST FIVE WORDS TO SAY TO YOU !!! " :
" DAMN GLAD TO SEE YA' , WOMAN !!!!!!! "
Awful glad you're back and crap on Yahoo! for givin' you grief.
Everything's lookin' really great.
Damn Big Cheers and High - Five's. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...And, as usual, I didn't make any of this up. Not one single syllable.
Let's see now...we'll need some sort of prize for the winner. Okay, the first person to guess the above nincompoop correctly will win himself a twelve month APL membership compliments of DIHQ. Check with the Field Marshal's office for rules, regulations and passwords. Happy hunting!
Look whose fat ass Santa Claus kicked off the reindeer pack just in time for the Christmas Season ! ! ! . . .
It's my little old GEEZER-ASS bud, MULE-LYSSES ASS GRANT ! ! ! . . .
(I just knew my comments somewhere would rope your fat ass in, my Big Fan and No. 1 Admirer !)
Where the hell have you been ??? ...
It's ABOUT TIME your Big Snout smelled its way back !
What happened ??? ... c'mon now ... DON'T ...PLEASE ... DON'T tell me:
Hmmmmmmmm ... lemme see here ... Your G Piss Navigator stuff up your nose ??? ... Comedy Central kick your fat ass off the stage ??? ... Your old geezer-ass buds Gomer Pyle and Sgt. Carter shot your fat ass off at target practice ??? ... Bill Clinton told you he wants your fat ass for his wife's running mate ??? ... The Russian cosmonaut torched your fat ass as the space station exploded ??? ... Harry Stamper hit the nuke button while he left your fat ass in the hole ??? ... After separation, half the asteroid slammed into your fat ass and then slammed into the other half with you in-between ??? ...
Oh hell, poor fella, you've had it tough ... it's just (sniff ... sniff) ... I mean ... it's just ... it's JUST REALLY (sniff ... sniff) breakin' me up ! ! ! . . .
There ... there ... c'mon now ... C'MON now ! ! ! ... ATTEN-HUT ! ! ! . . . PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, MULE-LYSSES ASS GRANT ! ! ! I'm gonna help ya' ... Really .. I mean I'm REALLY gonn help ya'.
This stem-cell research is makin' REAL progress. It's so promising that I've captured some of your fat ass stem cells and made 'em regenerate into a damn good alter-existence of you. Of course it'll be me postin', but the words will be comin' outta your own geezer-aged (but newly-grown) fat ass. Since you ALREADY admire me so much and all you're good for is playin' board tag, it's gonna be TERRIFIC .
Can't stop my guts from bustin' like hell laughin' at cha.
